When will this stop…

syrian war1s black The answer for me is as long as we have hatred in our heart this will continue. This is not one country problem, this is human problem. People who think it is not their problem, it is because they are not serious enough. They don’t face the true reality which is that we are in one human world ; it has been already sometime now. Assad al bashar blames on West? It just makes me utterly speechless. But if I hate him, I am one of people who cause the war… so… Let’s get my energy to use into right place with clear mind. How easy to hate someone and blame, judge others! And when we do that how we feel so great… The thing is to control angers when we confront injustice is very difficult. We all have wonderful obvious 100% clear reasons to hate someone or something. The reasons are never wrong but you have your reason I have mine…. So our conflict never ends. If you are important you must understand that I am important too. If we don’t understand this simple relationship, then we need to continue this war over and over again until someone finally blow up this whole earth blinded by hatred. There is no other way. We need to see the fact that we are all together in this earth. And without love and compassion we are dead already. Winter is coming and life striving long journey will be continued to refugees… and probably all countries who made changes by refugees would need some time to adjust. It won’t be that easy for both side. But this should be a new path in different history. Honestly I am quite surprised by Germany who shows us such courage and determination.


Charlie Hebdo cover opens door to forgive the terrorists

I participated “rassemblement Charlie Hebdo” with friends in Caen on Sunday evening.
While we were walking the rally among many people, my friends told me that such numbers of people’s gathering was the first time of their life. This attack certainly put the fire of human heart. Two brothers made terrible ugly crime with the stupid thought that they could play martyr! I do sympathize them. When I read their upbringing and miserable life, I understood that they were the people who have nothing to lose and went badly to the other side of world.  They shamed on their own religion, killed total 17 innocent people and left deep grieving to their family and of course made ‘Charlie Hebdo’ ever popular in the world. The one of victims, editor’s daughter told us “they killed my father but they failed kill his idea, they were not able to make it disappear. On the contrary it is getting bigger and alive much more than ever, I hope.” And it does. Hebdo s

Among crowds I saw many messages people carried on their hands which indicates that we stay for love and peace, not to allow division and not to mix with Islamophobia. I absolutely felt warm in my heart with human dignity in quite cold weather. It was mostly quiet and there were wave applauses out of silence many times and they were deeply moving. I felt that we were really there to support victims and to hold the value of free thought and free expression as human being. It was an honorable chance for me to share their loss. Chérif kouachi before he was killed, said that they were financed by Al-Qaeda, as if this message must be said to the world. What Al-Qaeda wants? A revenge for their God? If this is true they are incredibly stupid, because everyone can see the result of their revenge it only made their God very inferior to the world. I rather assume what they really want is a division by hatred in human heart. That would be by Evil not by God obviously. I am sorry for their behind-ness and soulless-ness.

When ‘Je suis Charlie’ started to spread quickly through whole nations, I didn’t know exactly where it was heading but now I know what people want in France is not a war but ‘liberty, fraternity and equality’ as true Republican country. Their roots of spirit only get stronger and more mature than ever. I didn’t see any sign of violent monstrous anger on them but I witnessed free minded people with strength and beauty of their own cherish humanity. I took it from my core of heart and respected profoundly as one citizen of the world in 20th century. I know not much about politics but I do know there are fools for many reasons. And between love and hate, where we contribute our life will be our choice.

Every human being has a right to live with their own voice.
Violence and hatred never prevail.

Je suis Charlie.
Je suis Ahmed.
Je suis Human.
Je suis Liberté.

Charlie Hebdo made their first cover since the attack and said the cover was a call to forgive the terrorists who murdered her colleagues last week.

Yes, freedom should be expressed in respect to the others but that doesn’t make any excuse to kill people.

Jeanne D’arc

Joan of Arc
jeanne d'arcWith one occasion last week I studied of her life a little and realized that France wouldn’t exist without this maid of Orleans (la pucelle d’Orléans). This is very a fact. And she received the voice from heaven. Those high spirit missionary people always end up by sacrificing their life… I noticed this since I was very little. But this time her story helped me to understand another step of my mind.

In her trail, she had been asked if she knew she was in God’s grace, she answered : “If I am not, may God put me there, and if I am , may God so keep me.” If she had answered yes, then she would have convicted herself of heresy. If she answered no, then she would have confessed her own guilt. She was an uneducated little village peasant girl. (1412-1431).

« Sur l’amour ou la haine que Dieu porte aux Anglais, je n’en sais rien, mais je suis convaincue qu’ils seront boutés hors de France, exceptés ceux qui mourront sur cette terre. » Her prediction during the trial also came true. Imagine if there is no France today…!!

strange fruit

lynching s

Southern trees bear a strange fruit,
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root,
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze,
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.

Pastoral scene of the gallant south,
The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth,
Scent of magnolias, sweet and fresh,
Then the sudden smell of burning flesh.

Here is fruit for the crows to pluck,
For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck,
For the sun to rot, for the trees to drop,
Here is a strange and bitter crop.

song by Billie Holiday






hungry child sketch

gipsy boy 4.

Pencil drawings in a traditional way, it has been a long time I didn’t use pencil but when I want to express the emotion of face, pencil drawing is the best tool for me. Also for me, pencil drawing is very much healing because it liberates my anxiety by letting lines go ups and downs repeatedly and it demands my breathing steady to control these flying lines, total dedication. Giacometti wrote on his book that the line from one to another on our face are too far too abstract, it is almost impossible to draw them. I feel he is so right about that. It is like an earth, I see the vast landscape on our face lines… in the end I cheat otherwise I would never make one face.

For me drawing is an expression from one place to another place, transformation. It shouldn’t be the same. The object I draw comes through me therefore when it comes out of me it should be different, normal. For example an apple on the table, as artists we see that apple in our particular ways combining our feeling (that’s why we want to draw not because it is there), the apple becomes an exclusive one. So drawing apple is not the same apple on the table anymore. That is how Picasso went wild far beyond.

In my art world, I still want to keep reality forms a lot into my drawings though I am cautious that if it goes too much detail, it kills all my emotions in that, at the same time lack of detail kills sincerity. I expect my drawings to be changed in few years as they goes deeper and deeper. This is hungry boy’s face, I feel his anger towards unfair reality, his unkind family or abused friends around, his deep hidden sadness and misery… Living in the dirty place, no education and no one brings him food… I wanted my compassion to be expressed so it was less darker mood than a real one.


Satya means truth or love.
Agraha means insistence or holding firmly to.

I have also called it love-force or soul force. In application of Satyagraha, I discovered in the earliest stages that pursuit of truth did not admit violence being inflicted on one’s opponent but that he must be weaned from error by patience and compassion.

For what appears to be truth to the one may appear to be error to the other.

And patience means self suffering. So the doctrine came to mean vindication of truth, not by infliction of suffering on the opponent, but on Oneself.

by Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi


Rhinoceros symbolizes the vision, understanding, communication, power, endurance, conviction, support, heart, and, most important, the balance that those desiring to be leaders must integrate into their lives. The rhino is an endangered species, so is the true leader.


I don’t know why I need to draw this kind of sadness in life. When I read and see these kinds articles mostly the thoughts rises that I should draw them somehow. And I postpone most of time also with an intention that maybe the thoughts would go away.The pictures sit and wait on my table as if I owe something to them and when I eventually finish the drawings I feel released. While I was drawing this mother’s eyes such sadness in her eyes were too intense, I’ve been keep thinking what kind of person she was and now is… To lose own child is too painful even just only in a thought. How many changes occurred to her life since and is that possible the change can be positive in the end or not…… Can her wounds find a healing place…. It aches my heart. by the photo of missing american solider’s mother.

dead man

When I read the news of Bin Laden’s death something bothered me. If millions of Americans would be happy enough what does it matter that one foreigner doesn’t feel right about it… but when I read Michael Moor’s blog, I felt yes, this is what I mean. Killing bad guys like bad guys killed good guys. Eye to eye? By sudden attack and shooting all included his wife and an older son? Why didn’t they bring them to the trial? That brings some doubts. Is there really crucial secrets that the world should be in shock if Bin Laden say something? Or is it just blind killing by revenge? well… I would never know before something make me understand. While my common sense bewildered, I found this article. Americans are so vary in their thoughts but the most wonderful thing in America for me is the free voices and they always show to stand in true justice and humanity eventually. This is one of things I like about America.

Michael Moor’s article of bin laden’s death

beautiful image

So many children died and hurt by their own country army… Such a tragic. It is hard to watch their situation. It is obviously very wrong with their president who showed his calmness in quiet and intelligent attitude in his interview. Hello, it is your country people, so many are dying and you just deny the fact with smile in your neat suit… this is wrong. You can’t be quiet if someone accuse you as a murderer of your own people.

This is from England Journal. Such a beautiful charming lady but will she have a courage?

help him… crying man

My friends don’t like at all when I paint miseries. I know it has been few years I changed my paintings to be not miseries in the world but beautiful decoration for selling. But I just have a freaking nature inspired so much from suffering moments. I cry when I paint or draw them. I just have to draw and … voila. This is story of a man crying out asking help his brother in Syria. The article said Syria is no longer sliding into war or staring at the abyss of war. Syria is at War. Why this kind of war never ends? Whom to blame? The sky? we have to care more, know more and love more….

Two days ago I saw for the first time Kony 2012 video, I was of course crying and made a little donation right away and then I found out Jason was arrested in Sandiego. I was thinking what is the big deal and what kind of bad people make issues around this? He has already done lots of good work, maybe he got too much pressure… He needs to be embraced not criticized then….. his behavior made me study a bit. Simply yes, I studied. I was pretty upset when I figured out all the different facts specially from ugandan civilians. I searched all people’s blogs and watched more than 15 of videos. Another few hours I spent time to think then I made my conclusion with this blog from here
I decided it’s fair to think that way. The truth is so difficult to know but I also thought I would never make any donation without committing myself in real situation which means if I want to help someone I will help someone that I can see and feel. If I want to help african children I will go someday there and help them with heart. Not blindly like this. I am learning my lessons through all. However I have to say WoW…. everything was… just wow.

hunger and dignity

Hunger puts lives of millions at risk.  I drew this from one of great photos of Uncertain grace (by Sebastinaos Salgado). These kinds of photos inspire me so much. We should keep remember them. There is one story told in that album; a poor fisherman who refused to sell to one young rich gentleman who wanted to buy all his shellfish. Fisherman said  ” I am the master in my hunger.” I respect people’s dignity which can’t be negotiable even in the most crawl reality. bravo.

tsunami prelude

I’ve having many thoughts about what happened in Japan. I was traveling to England for the weekend but I was keep thinking of what people would have get through during such a short time. I imagine that there is no need to fight back to nature. When nature is against us we are like little birds on stormy weather. Our nature of controlling things can’t be working with such great nature’s force. Honestly what you would do if the force of wave attack us in a few moments before we realize it coming. Even given an hour, what else… then I thought of the house with balloons or air balloon ride… now my bf is laughing. But why not? when the earth expels us, only we can do is flying away… no? until earth is calming. so… my next painting will be en montgolfiere a air.

tsunami fear painting

I am watching tsunami in Japan through photos and news intensively. I guess this is one of the worst disasters in our century caused by nature… I imagine myself when the nature force is coming upon us what else could we do? Is there anything we could do if it arrives in no time? All of sudden you stand still and watch what is coming in front of us with great fear but …. nothing else. A long ago I visited Pompeii in Italy, there were people who had died by volcanic explosion and many years after their bodies remained as fossils. One of impressive forms I still remember was a couple who died hugging each other. I couldn’t sleep that night. It is so sad what happens in Japan. Once again I give lots of thoughts about nature and universe! I participate my sympathy to paint their moments from my thoughts and pray for their recovery.

jean michel basquiat

Last week I was in paris, had an opportunity to see Jean Michel Basquait’ s exhibition. I saw some of his work 5 years ago from different musee de Paris but this time my feeling into his work was completely different. I think there are always reasons that everything happens in life. His life was such a short one and it is sad but I envy very much of his heart filling happiness in his work.